Your "Secret Ingredient"
A few days ago I woke up with these lyrics in my head:
Aaah Life is a Simple Game, Life is a Simple Game, Win or Lose
Aaah Life is a Simple Game, Life is a Simple Game, It's What You Choose.
The lyrics has accompanied a dream about a young man that fell in love with a young lady. During the course of their relationship they added a 'secret ingredient' that changed their lives.
Thinking about it, we all have ingredients that we add to our lives, relationships and ways of being that create who and what we are. So the question is, are those ingredients building and strengthening or breaking down and tearing apart these relationships, including our relationships with ourselves?
What happens when you make lasagna and don't put in the noodles or noodle substitute? Or brownies and forget the sugar or, heaven forbid, use salt instead of sugar? Are they even edible? Lasagna; edible, yes, but you may have to give it a new name like cheesy meat casserole. Brownies: in both cases, NO! Holy Yuck!
So what ingredients are we putting into our relationships?
The first type of ingredient is Emotion- Whether uplifting, mediocre or derogatory, they all have an impact on us and those around us.
Second is Thought- Judgements we make regarding ourselves, others or situations, good or bad, make an impact as to how we view the outcome. For instance, in my life two things are constant: dishes and laundry. It doesn't matter how I view them these things will be a part of my life until I am no longer breathing on this earth. My thoughts about them effect EVERYTHING about them;
-How large or small the task is (in my mind)
-How long it will take (longer if I put them off)
-Whether or not I grumble (the example I set for my family)
-My reaction to and relationships with those that contribute to how much needs to be done
-Whether or not others want to help etc.
Third is Actions- Our actions are highly influenced by the other two ingredients but it also has its own component. We CAN be angry and not act angry. It takes a conscious effort and willpower but it is possible. Often it takes a change of mind and heart. Even though I feel _______ I choose to act ________. This simple turnaround can change life experiences when we employ it. Even though I feel scared I choose to act brave. Can you see how that might effect the child that is afraid of the dark, the person that is starting a new job or moving to a new city? Life is a constant ball of change! The death of a loved one, the loss of a job, bad and even good news brings change! Sometimes that change is not physical. With combat veterans and other trauma survivors often this change is mental or emotional. Are our thoughts kind? Do we reach out to others to lift and help? Do our emotions and thoughts hinder the actions we choose or do they add momentum to the chosen paths (conscious or unconscious) of our lives?
One thing I have found is that when I choose to make conscious change and take conscious action the feeling in my world changes to match. Being aware and present is key! When my mind wanders to the music playing and gets carried away in the thoughts of the past and possible emotions of the future and the goings on in the lives of others, I am no longer present in my own life. My reality, here and now is being lived without a very needed ingredient. That ingredient is ME!
Aaah Life is a Simple Game, Life is a Simple Game, Win or Lose, It IS What You Choose!
Aaah Life is a Simple Game, Life is a Simple Game, Win or Lose
Aaah Life is a Simple Game, Life is a Simple Game, It's What You Choose.
The lyrics has accompanied a dream about a young man that fell in love with a young lady. During the course of their relationship they added a 'secret ingredient' that changed their lives.
Thinking about it, we all have ingredients that we add to our lives, relationships and ways of being that create who and what we are. So the question is, are those ingredients building and strengthening or breaking down and tearing apart these relationships, including our relationships with ourselves?
What happens when you make lasagna and don't put in the noodles or noodle substitute? Or brownies and forget the sugar or, heaven forbid, use salt instead of sugar? Are they even edible? Lasagna; edible, yes, but you may have to give it a new name like cheesy meat casserole. Brownies: in both cases, NO! Holy Yuck!
So what ingredients are we putting into our relationships?
The first type of ingredient is Emotion- Whether uplifting, mediocre or derogatory, they all have an impact on us and those around us.
Second is Thought- Judgements we make regarding ourselves, others or situations, good or bad, make an impact as to how we view the outcome. For instance, in my life two things are constant: dishes and laundry. It doesn't matter how I view them these things will be a part of my life until I am no longer breathing on this earth. My thoughts about them effect EVERYTHING about them;
-How large or small the task is (in my mind)
-How long it will take (longer if I put them off)
-Whether or not I grumble (the example I set for my family)
-My reaction to and relationships with those that contribute to how much needs to be done
-Whether or not others want to help etc.
Third is Actions- Our actions are highly influenced by the other two ingredients but it also has its own component. We CAN be angry and not act angry. It takes a conscious effort and willpower but it is possible. Often it takes a change of mind and heart. Even though I feel _______ I choose to act ________. This simple turnaround can change life experiences when we employ it. Even though I feel scared I choose to act brave. Can you see how that might effect the child that is afraid of the dark, the person that is starting a new job or moving to a new city? Life is a constant ball of change! The death of a loved one, the loss of a job, bad and even good news brings change! Sometimes that change is not physical. With combat veterans and other trauma survivors often this change is mental or emotional. Are our thoughts kind? Do we reach out to others to lift and help? Do our emotions and thoughts hinder the actions we choose or do they add momentum to the chosen paths (conscious or unconscious) of our lives?
One thing I have found is that when I choose to make conscious change and take conscious action the feeling in my world changes to match. Being aware and present is key! When my mind wanders to the music playing and gets carried away in the thoughts of the past and possible emotions of the future and the goings on in the lives of others, I am no longer present in my own life. My reality, here and now is being lived without a very needed ingredient. That ingredient is ME!
Aaah Life is a Simple Game, Life is a Simple Game, Win or Lose, It IS What You Choose!
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